Spoken word audiobook The Octopus Speaks! is now on sale. Get it while it’s slimy!

1. Floating Hell (Anchorage Press)

You thought you could take a cruise ironically. You were wrong.

Make no mistake, 20 times per day, something or someone will goo in your palm.

Make no mistake, 20 times per day, something or someone will goo in your palm.

Sentence of the month honors(!): "We scream like little girls and flee, each in a separate direction. The only thing uniting our paths is the fact they're all away from the snake." (technically two sentences but still...)

Sentence of the month honors(!): "We scream like little girls and flee, each in a separate direction. The only thing uniting our paths is the fact they're all away from the snake." (technically two sentences but still...)

3. TERENCE MCKENNA R.i.p. (Anchorage Press)

I miss Terence. I really, really do...

"Well, Dan, your suggestion of sky-diving as a safe alternative to mushrooms is a matter I'll leave between you and your insurance agent."

"Well, Dan, your suggestion of sky-diving as a safe alternative to mushrooms is a matter I'll leave between you and your insurance agent."

4. The Indefensible Holiday: Welcome to the Maldives

It is impossible to justify a fourth trip to the Maldives but here, with the help of America's next top model, I attempt to do just that.

"I 98% taste-test guarantee shark's fin soup as being indistinguishable from something I can knock-up in my own kitchen using a sweaty mackerel, a teaspoon of gelatin and a drop of my own urine, try me."

"I 98% taste-test guarantee shark's fin soup as being indistinguishable from something I can knock-up in my own kitchen using a sweaty mackerel, a teaspoon of gelatin and a drop of my own urine, try me."

5. The Afterlife With Greg Junell

Eulogy for Greg Junell (left) in which formerly agnostic ace reporter David Holthouse (3rd from left) meets the deceased at an interdimensional "tube stop", becomes a card-carrying reincarnationist, and brings me back a message. Gooseflesh anyone?

"Another download stream was the aliens soothing my brow and telling me that being raped when I was seven was the central challenge of my lifetime and that I had overcome it. I wrote about it, now I speak about it publicly to huge audiences. I fucki…

"Another download stream was the aliens soothing my brow and telling me that being raped when I was seven was the central challenge of my lifetime and that I had overcome it. I wrote about it, now I speak about it publicly to huge audiences. I fucking won this round."

- David Holthouse

6. The Techno Pagan Octopus Messiah

20th Anniversary edition now available on Amazon!

It's been a long strange ride.

It's been a long strange ride.

7. The Spoken Word Audiobook

Script available in paperback and on Kindle

8. The New novel

Meet E, a budding marine biologist who has a spectacular near-death experience while releasing his pet octopus back into the wild. The ensuing events will tear him away from the sciences, alienate him from his family, his girlfriend, society, the la…

Camouflage. Change shape. Choose your friends wisely.

The Age of the Eagle is over.

The Age of the Octopus has begun.

For further info please contact Morwenna Loughman at Aevitas Creative Management:  mloughman@aevitascreative.com

banner, blog & wildlife photos © Ian Winn

octopus photos courtesy of Roy Caldwell